I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
