Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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