I should be sponsored by Trojan
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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