Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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