Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
