I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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