they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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