summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
