Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
