I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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