Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
