bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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