we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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