haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
