Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
