I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
