I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
