they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
