I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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