remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
