So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
