We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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