Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize