i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
