Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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