she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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