i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
