I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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