you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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