Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
