I bet he comes in French.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
