His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
