You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
