i permit you to call me
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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