Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
