You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
