dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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