She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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