it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Did I show you my penis last night?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
