Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
