I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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