very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
