just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
