i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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