Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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