What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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