We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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