like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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