I cockslap morals
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The cops high fived after they tackled you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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