Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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