Your mouth is God's brothel.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
