you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
